Ultimate Utopia

I jump on the bandwagon and add my two cents to the gaming debate started by Tekanji. My comments assume previous knowledge of the video, so go and watch it here.

I could certainly relate to many of the things in this video, being an incurable console/LARP/RPG/PC gamer myself. Much of the humor was spot on. Case in point, watch for the part where the leading character tries to run through the wall, causing all the other characters to follow his lead. I thought I was going to hurt myself laughing. What console gamer hasn’t faced the ever present anxiety that one’s avatar might get trapped in a glitch such as the famous wall, corner, or other shoddy piece of landscape programming, thereby effectively ending a game that inevitably hasn’t had a save point for MILES. (Incidentally, this lack of save points is a real flaw in Call of Cthulhu for Xbox, but expect an entry about that later)

I also loved the responses of the summoned characters. Maybe I am just a softie, but I always find myself wondering about the lives of summoned creatures. I like to play Druids, and therefore end up summoning all manner of things. I always feel bad when my wolves or bears die. I mean, they were probably eating dinner or something when I called on them to come and fight in a battle they don’t care about, and now they’re dead. Their families must be wondering where they are! And what about games where you can summon Dryads (Baldur’s Gate II, I’m looking at you)? Those things have got to be rare!

Anyway. So this can be an entry about gender and gaming, let’s get to the good stuff. Lake Desire’s author mentions the fact that the word cocksucker is used. I think males especially use this as a derogatory term because it denotes a gay sex activity. Homosexuals have frequently been characterized as wimpy, sissy or powder puffs, and have been derided for allegedly caring about such things as personal appearance and the upkeep of their homes.

Obviously all the stereotypes listed above are just that and should be taken with an entire salt lick, but it makes an interesting point in that the things gay men are ridiculed for are all the traditional concerns of women. Frequently gay men are accused of being effeminate, which to the archetypal heterosexual male is verboten. One cannot be virile and caring, dominant and a family man.

I remember the first time I sucked a cock. I was laying on this guy’s stomach, looking down at his very hard member, thinking that I might give it a go. I had never done anything of the kind before, and I remember worrying that if I went ahead with it, I would be one of THOSE people; the trashy kind who suck cock. The act was one that good girls didn’t do, it effectively made you a whore. (and not in the wonderful empowering sense) I am not for the entire rewording of our language to better support various human rights movements, but in cases like this I think it’s worthwhile to sit back and wonder why so many of our derogatory names for one another deal with genitals or sex acts. If one is a pussy, one is weak and ineffective. If one is a dick, he is frequently bulling forward with no regard for the feelings of others.

I do think that this game is a knowing parody of both racial and gender stereotypes in console games. Megan, our healer, is the weakest of the group. Frequently a game of this nature will include a female character, but she is nothing more than a token of the manufacturer’s attempt to be politically correct, and it shows. I choose to believe that Megan’s character is an informed parody, and in that she hits home on every level. She is the weakest physically (and by a huge margin), has the least impressive weapon, and, interestingly, is the only character wearing color. I found the choice of red to be telling. Granted it might have been an unconscious choice that morning (whatever’s clean, you know), or an attempt to look more like Aeris, but red is typically given to characters who aren’t intended to live past the first engagement.

Megan certainly fits that theory as she gets “owned” again and again by the super powerful enemy. (Good GOD that guy has a lot of hit points!) One of the first attacks she suffers is a penetrating light saber attack, and she remains the only character to get penetrated in such a fashion. If a light saber isn’t a phallic metaphor, I don’t know what is.

All Megan manages to do in between the frequent ass beatings is cast the most ineffective heal all spell I have EVER witnessed. Oh, and an equally laughable mp up spell. The fact that the GOOD spell blows her away is telling, as the female in games must always be either a Madonna (Aeris, Selphie, Rinoa) or a Whore. (BloodRayne, Red Ninja) Apparently sweet little Megan is enough of a virgin that she has to suffer for it.

While the male characters have either impressive machine guns or incredible magical ability, Megan gets a staff. Yes, the ultimate throw away, what-the-hell-should-we-give-this-character weapon. The weapon that gets bestowed upon the last chicken in the shop, the token character that must be designed before everyone can go home. The attack that comes out of it is a pure starburst of light that does a whole TWELVE damage! Go Sailor Moon, go! Take that you, you, BAD MAN!

The only consolation is that Megan, under a Confuse spell, deals the killing blow to the ridiculously overpowered enemy. Apparently a woman must be confused to deal the killing blow to anything. Though again, I think the game designers intention was a light hearted parody, and therefore what they were going for was that relatable situation where all but your weakest characters have fainted, and you’re desperately trying to get in the last few deadly hits before the boss takes you out. It just so happens that the weakest character always seems to be female.